your parents love me but you hate me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
