a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize