good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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