Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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