I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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