fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize