so that wasnt chicken after all
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
