I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
