I smell stomach acid.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
