Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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