It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
nutella sex= disaster
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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