I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
