You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you still have your period?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
