ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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