I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
