How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
so much tequila, so little girl.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
