More tranny stories later!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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