john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
