on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
