Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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