oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
