wakey wakey hands off snakey
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i will never coherently bang her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
