I bet he comes in French.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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