Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
