I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize