Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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