are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
