So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He passed out mid-signature
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
