Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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