Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
