In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she pinky promised me she was 18
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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