i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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