reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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