Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The power of my boobs compel you
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
