My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
