I must be too annoying 4 u.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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