Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
