We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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