i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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