Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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