I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
