I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
