Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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