Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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