Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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