I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't deserve a penis
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
