Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
