Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
