3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize