Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
