how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
