I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize