Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
