The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize