Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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