i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
