Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
