Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
