The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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