I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
