Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
