I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you would pick up someone in the library
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So squirting runs in the family.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
