So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
