You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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