3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize
