She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
