And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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