either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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