She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
