OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize