CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
