I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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