S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
