talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
