spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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