You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
