I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
