So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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