I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
