i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
