..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
