you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You've changed since you got that strap on
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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