Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
