I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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