you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
