So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize