You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
