OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
