Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish I only lived at night.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
