You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize